E

jesus-lizard-journal: garbage-empress: “do you fucking mind”

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:46:38 -0400

garbage-empress:

“do you fucking mind”

queenrinacat: brainstatic: Everyone’s like “those Germans have a word for everything” but English...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:46:06 -0400

brainstatic:

Everyone’s like “those Germans have a word for everything” but English has a word for tricking someone into watching the music video for Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up.

English has a lot more words created for very specific phenomena! It’s not just rick-rolling. Language is always evolving and it’s super interesting! Here’s a list of hyper-specific/untranslatable words in English.

mojave-red: lady-feral: polowavecap: Oh its fucking...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 08:19:41 -0400

mojave-red:

lady-feral:

polowavecap:

Oh its fucking lit

WITNESS ME

WITNESSED

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 22:55:02 -0400

creepyshowerkid: This week’s posts were brought to you by Black Apron This month we’re serving up...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 22:04:50 -0400

creepyshowerkid:

This week’s posts were brought to you by Black Apron

This month we’re serving up dinosaur meat and arsenic

systemshocker: good evening (in vampire voice)

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:44:37 -0400

systemshocker:

good evening (in vampire voice)

actualmermaid: I will never not be delighted by the first English description of an opossum: “An...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:43:47 -0400

actualmermaid:

I will never not be delighted by the first English description of an opossum:

“An Opassom hath an head like a Swine, and a taile like a Rat, and is of the bignes of a Cat. Under her belly she hath a bagge, wherein she lodgeth, carrieth, and sucketh her young.”

swankyangles: florrissey: fathermartinarchimbaud: mycomputerthinksimgay: You, an edgy mall goth:...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:21:04 -0400

swankyangles:

florrissey:

fathermartinarchimbaud:

mycomputerthinksimgay:

You, an edgy mall goth: Personal Jesus by Marilyn Manson

Me: an even edgier mall goth: Personal Jesus by Mindless Self Indulgence

Me, a cowgoth: Personal Jesus by Johnny Cash

Me, a gay cowgoth: Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode

illuminabi: illuminabi: refers to any musical group with just men as a boy band Someone: do you...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 19:05:50 -0400

illuminabi:

illuminabi:

*refers to any musical group with just men as a boy band*

Someone: do you like the rolling stones?

Me: sorry I’m just not into boy bands

verylostpenguin: Me: goes to a bookshop to look for new booksMe: *gravitates to books that I...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 11:01:55 -0400

verylostpenguin:

Me: *goes to a bookshop to look for new books*
Me: *gravitates to books that I already own*
Me: *pointing excitedly* I’ve got that!

smallsith: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses: stellarrrluna: stellar...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 10:58:35 -0400

smallsith:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

stellarrrluna:

stellarrluna:

stellarrluna:

multiheaded1793:

I’m at the trolley problem

I’m at the prisoner’s dilemma

I’m at the combination trolley problem and prisoner’s dilemma

I honestly just had this strange intellectual/academic orgasm and it was very confusing

fuck it i’m solving this

OK SO HERE’S THE DEAL

I CAME UP WITH THREE WAYS TO MEASURE THIS–

1) HOW MANY OF YOUR PEOPLE DIE VS HOW MANY OF THEIRS

2) HOW MANY OF YOUR PEOPLE ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR KILLING

3) HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR KILLING NO MATTER WHETHER THEY’RE RED OR BLUE

AND HERE’S THE DEAL

SITUATION 1 IS A NORMAL PRISONERS DILEMMA YIELDING GOOD OL “WE BOTH SWERVE AND KILL PEOPLE BUT NOT OUR PEOPLE” NASH EQUILIBRIUM EVEN THOUGH BOTH DRIVING IS IDEAL

HOWEVER, IN SITUATIONS 2 AND 3 THE IDEAL OUTCOME AND THE CAUTIOUS OUTCOME ARE ACTUALLY THE SAME!!! THAT IS TO SAY, THE BEST OUTCOME BY EITHER OF THOSE MEASUREMENTS IS CONSISTENT WITH THE OUTCOME THAT YOU’D WANT ANYWAY.

HOWEVER, WHETHER YOU THINK THE CHOICE SHOULD BE MEASURED BY “IS IT BEST TO KILL FEWER PEOPLE IF THEY’RE MY PEOPLE OR BEST TO KILL LOTS OF PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT MY PEOPLE” WILL YIELD TWO COMPLETELY OPPOSITE CHOICES AND SO

AT THE HORRIFYING INTERSECTION OF GAME THEORY AND THE TROLLEY PROBLEM

THE TROLLEY PROBLEM REMAINS A MORALLY RELATIVE BITCH AND ONLY ONCE YOU HAVE COMMITTED TO THE MORAL MEASUREMENT OF YOUR CHOICE WILL A GAME HELP YOU

(btw if the goal is to be personally responsible for as few deaths of your own kind as possible, you keep going. if you just want to kill as few people as possible no matter what, you want to swerve.)

( @ophiliad and @litora-multum-ille it’s one of those weeks I guess?)

4) THE MAXIMUM NUMBER OF PEOPLE YOU CAN KILL FOR A HIGH SCORE

for fuck’s sake, if you want to kill the fewest people, you just let the trolleys crash into each other. that way only two people die.

chocozumas-revenge: mori-esque: cheftaako: god Why does Justin...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 01:05:40 -0400

chocozumas-revenge:

mori-esque:

cheftaako:

god

Why does Justin look like he’s got my soul on that fork

This honestly holds to the “all images of Justin are cursed, all images of Travis is blessed, all images of Griffin instill a subtle sense of discomfort” law.

prokopetz: More dumb magic items for your D&D campaign: A sword that inflicts emotional...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 01:03:06 -0400

prokopetz:

More dumb magic items for your D&D campaign:

A sword that inflicts emotional wounds

A hat that, when left alone with another hat, will mate and produce hybrid offspring

Negative gold pieces

A map that is the territory

Armour that becomes more effective the uglier the wearer

A living pocket-watch that never needs winding, but if you don’t feed it, it dies; it’s an obligate carnivore

Goggles that put censor bars over monsters of the Aberration type

An instructional tome in the secret language of ducks

A dagger that glows in the presence of one particular goblin

Angry shoes

docloudscomeinpurple: A thought: Good Omens, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and Welcome to Night...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 01:00:39 -0400

docloudscomeinpurple:

A thought: Good Omens, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and Welcome to Night Vale each give off distinct, yet related energies.

smallsith: thorsbian: gina-didnt-die-for-blecho: thorsbian: Best tumblr scandals The girl grave...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 00:58:11 -0400

smallsith:

thorsbian:

gina-didnt-die-for-blecho:

thorsbian:

Best tumblr scandals

The girl grave robbing and selling human bones online

The white american girl who pretended to be an interracial lesbian couple living with hiv in india, just so she could write hamilton hiv fic

The girl everyone thought was the native lesbian writer of my immortal, who wrote it to find her brother, but it turns out she was white and lied about her backstory and probably didn’t even write the fic

Russian Chaos Agents

Add more if u want, lord knows theres plenty

wait wasn’t girl number 2 exposed by someone who wrote Hamilton mermaid vore?

She Sure Was! 💁🏼

how about the fact that sixpenceee’s family owns a child slave

trashfirefallon: trashfirefallon: trashfirefallon: trashfirefallon: Hairdresser: We’re going to...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 00:46:44 -0400

trashfirefallon:

trashfirefallon:

trashfirefallon:

trashfirefallon:

Hairdresser: We’re going to have to use a color remover to take out the blue pigment, then apply more pigment to allow for the proteins in the hair to adhere to it. Then possibly mix three different types of toners to reach the goal of your natural hair color.

Hairdresser: pretty simple

Me: this is chemistry

Hairdresser: yeah, but people don’t like when we talk that way

Hairdresser: so you’re a mortician?

Me: apprentice

Hairdresser: do you know why formaldehyde is used in clothing?

Me: I didn’t know that was a thing

Hairdresser: I think it’s due to the preserving qualities? But I don’t think that’s right.

Me: It’s not just a preservative, it’s also a disinfectant ‘cause it destroys bacteria as well as their food supply. It’s also a dehydrator.

Hairdresser: why not just use alcohol?

Me: good question. Formaldehyde is super cheap, so probably to cut costs

Hairdresser: is it really a carcinogen?

Me: yeah, I’m going to have so much cancer

Hairdresser: so you’re going natural to work at a funeral home?

Me: yeah

Hairdresser: while still in school?

Me: well we work in the funeral homes so we have uuuuh … experience with cases

Hairdresser: you can just say bodies it’s fine

Me: oh thank god

Five Minutes Later

Me: yeah so we don’t do autopsies it’s one of my pet peeves

Hairdresser: what if someone wakes up while you’re embalming them?

Me: there’s a huge difference between a living body and a dead one

second hairdresser: I think we should add more toner, but yeah I think rigor mortis would make it pretty obvious

Me: that and being in a fridge for a few days you will be dead by the time you get to us

Hairdresser: I think pumping them full of a carcinogen would help with that

missmoneyhenny: focsle: I was teaching kids today and they got fixated on the usual ‘are they dead...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 00:40:34 -0400

missmoneyhenny:

focsle:

I was teaching kids today and they got fixated on the usual ‘are they dead now?’ question when I was talking about historical figures. So I was just like ‘Yes, they’re dead now, everyone who was alive in the 1800s is dead now.’ and then one kid was like ‘Except for you’.

I’m sorry to hear about your scalp.

pancakeke: unmovinggreatlibrary: the-foley-knoll-horror: panca...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 00:40:17 -0400

pancakeke:

unmovinggreatlibrary:

the-foley-knoll-horror:

pancakeke:

megatome:

pancakeke:

discsfine:

pancakeke:

my bones!! feel free to look but please don’t steal my bones!!

reblog to steal her bones

NO

we’re over halfway to stealing all of jess’ bones

STOP!!

They took the whole skellington

Congratulations to pancakeke for becoming the first living person to have their bones stolen by tumblr users.

I love how you can’t say “first person”

asheoki: IM HYPERVENTILATING JGXFHZXJGJXGJGDJGX

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 14:05:00 -0400

asheoki:

IM HYPERVENTILATING JGXFHZXJGJXGJGDJGX

Photo

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 13:51:01 -0400

E

jesus-lizard-journal: garbage-empress: “do you fucking mind”

queenrinacat: brainstatic: Everyone’s like “those Germans have a word for everything” but English...

mojave-red: lady-feral: polowavecap: Oh its fucking...

Photo

creepyshowerkid: This week’s posts were brought to you by Black Apron This month we’re serving up...

This week’s posts were brought to you by Black Apron

systemshocker: good evening (in vampire voice)

actualmermaid: I will never not be delighted by the first English description of an opossum: “An...

swankyangles: florrissey: fathermartinarchimbaud: mycomputerthinksimgay: You, an edgy mall goth:...

illuminabi: illuminabi: *refers to any musical group with just men as a boy band* Someone: do you...

verylostpenguin: Me: *goes to a bookshop to look for new books*Me: *gravitates to books that I...

smallsith: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses: stellarrrluna: stellar...

chocozumas-revenge: mori-esque: cheftaako: god Why does Justin...

prokopetz: More dumb magic items for your D&D campaign: A sword that inflicts emotional...

docloudscomeinpurple: A thought: Good Omens, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and Welcome to Night...

smallsith: thorsbian: gina-didnt-die-for-blecho: thorsbian: Best tumblr scandals The girl grave...

Best tumblr scandals

She Sure Was! 💁🏼

trashfirefallon: trashfirefallon: trashfirefallon: trashfirefallon: Hairdresser: We’re going to...

Five Minutes Later

missmoneyhenny: focsle: I was teaching kids today and they got fixated on the usual ‘are they dead...

pancakeke: unmovinggreatlibrary: the-foley-knoll-horror: panca...

asheoki: IM HYPERVENTILATING JGXFHZXJGJXGJGDJGX

Photo

illuminabi: illuminabi: refers to any musical group with just men as a boy band Someone: do you...

verylostpenguin: Me: goes to a bookshop to look for new booksMe: *gravitates to books that I...